匿名blog，抒發平時不想說，不敢說的

Every morning I listen to...

2011-01-08T14:13:00.001+08:00

一啖沙糖...

2011-01-04T22:48:00.001+08:00

Instinct...instinct...instinct...

mealtime blogging: 司徒華之死

2011-01-03T12:59:00.002+08:00

司徒華 died yesterday and most of Hong Kong are mourning. But I think this seems to be like when Mao Zedong died. Everyone had to give a gesture of mourning even though they might not be sad at all. It’s funny that Donald Tsang thank Szeto for going against 5 constituencies referendum and supporting his political reform plan.

Through messages and news about his death I can see how history can be and has been twisted. People are omitting his faults and praising him like a god. Yes he did do many things and he contributed a LOT, perhaps most in Hong Kong, but he is not flawless. His 2 major contributions are teachers rights movement and keeping the memory of june 4th alive throughout all these years. But at the end he took Democratic Party to CCP’s side. People are ignoring that, completely ignoring the fact that Democratic Party is fooled and voted for the evil reform plan because of Szeto’s leadership.

李少光 is making a very stupid political move. He should've left the sentence that 王丹 doesn't have to come to Hong Kong out because this is totally none of his business. He could say he's thinking about it and then do nothing, but saying that Wang doesn't have to come is making enemy out of not only the fans of Szeto, but also anyone rallying for the freedom of movement, of speech.

2010

2010-12-22T21:13:00.003+08:00

過得好辛苦但係得著好多嘅一年

最後呢幾日我想舒舒服服諗下野咁過

好多好多嘅起伏

好多事發生嘅一年

今年得到的是

1. 知道自己體力和腦力的limit

2. 好堅固的family memory + relationship, 雖然阿哥出年去英國讀書，得番幾個family gatherings, 但係呢啲回憶同bonding 夠支撐我未來會遇到嘅challenges

3. 世界的確非常黑暗 (學了一整年的office politics)，但也有光明的一面，一定有

這幾天要做的就是把一年來因為太忙而埋在心底底底底底底底底底底底的各種情緒挖挖挖挖挖挖挖挖挖挖挖出來然後在2011 前處理掉

教訓

2010-12-06T19:39:00.002+08:00

真的

除了那個要背的midterm 外，我把first half of the semester 轟轟烈烈的炒掉了

然後在second half of the semester 把essays 全A 了! (預計)

教訓就是

1. 別以為意志可以戰勝身體，邊病邊炒掉essays 的日子一點也不好過

2. 那兩個月, grades 沒了，健康沒了，搵工沒了，IELTS 也瓜了

就是friends/family 都在，所以我爬得番起身

特別多謝阿哥

我的天敵

2010-12-04T15:36:00.002+08:00

是哲學和數學

要我看還可以

別要我produce 什麼出來

寫出來的只會是low quality 的垃圾

通宵兩晚，一共只nap 了四小時

喝了兩罐redbull

昨天到下午五點才吃了些麵包

昨晚睡了12小時

還有兩條essay

星期三deadline

然後星期五考完試就放假了

放假.......

做dissertation

Management 101

2010-11-27T20:56:00.003+08:00

No I don't study business, I don't study HR, I study history.

And this doesn't really have much to do with what I study, it's just some thoughts.

Story 1: Back in F.6 my school had an Open Day. Teacher A scolded us for nothing all the time, and expected all of us to work for her. She didn't treat us politely and everything was military order. No words of gratitude, no courtesy, no respect. Teacher B never demanded any extra 'service' from us, he showered us with a million 'thanks' whenever we did him a favour.

On the Open Day preparation day, teacher A thought we'd all stay there to help her decorate the classroom. (she was our class teacher) Only those who were forced to sign up did so, meaning there were only a few left. One of the students who signed up even escaped to help Teacher B out. Teacher B had more manpower than he needed, and all students worked very efficiently.

Story 2:

Aunt who lives with grandparents hired maid L a month ago. Aunt treats L like how teacher A treated us, while mom treats L like Teacher B did.

Grandma is in hospital and needs round-the-clock care. On weekdays, aunt stays there during the day while maid L stays there for the night. L forgot that her boss is Aunt instead of my mom, and she said she'd work on Sunday too, and take her holiday later. Later, when she talked to Aunt and remembered who she really was working for, she chose to have her holiday instead, and won't work on Sunday.

The lesson: treat people with respect, including your subordinates, for if you treat them well enough, they will go the extra mile and help you out when you're in need. If you're abusing your power, your subordinates will only fulfill their responsibility and their responsibility only.

NK vs SK

2010-11-25T03:55:00.003+08:00

綜合各方好友及自己的分析:

Possible causes of recent conflict:
1. Kim jung-il is dying soon, King jung-un needs to show he's a hardliner

2. Famine in NK so they need to threaten the world for food

3. Riots in NK (maybe not) and they need a war for a common enemy to unite the country

Predictions:

1. China will not do anything until it is asked to, because control over NK is its trump card. Apart from stabilizing the economy over the East Asian region, China's place in the world is to keep NK from doing anything too radical.

2. Re-opening of six-party talks

3. All countries (except NK) will try very hard to prevent war.

Many people are reminded of the World Wars and fear the coming of WWIII. This will probably not be the case. In WWI, Serbia and Austria were both backed by a number of strong nations. NK is not backed by anyone. China IS in a way supporting NK, but economic benefit gained from trading all over the world outweighs the ideological big-brother support for NK.

As for WWII, that was the creation of a few strong military powers, NK is definitely not one. The strong nations are using appeasement towards NK, but this is different from appeasement for Germany before WWII because the scale is much smaller. They gave Germany lands and allowed it to break allllll sorts of clauses in the Versailles Settlement. Now they're just giving NK food, humanitarian aid, perhaps money, but they're definitely not allowing NK to have nuclear weapons. NK has no chance to rise like Germany did.

This is just a minor skirmish, don't panic.

Political correctness

2010-11-19T21:20:00.002+08:00

Prof. C doesn't like this term, because it is vague

But I'll put this aside for a while.

I went to the Space Museum today

They had a box displaying the astronauts and spaceship models.

The astronauts had a little USA flag on their spacesuit

in front of them is the Lunar Rover.

In front of the Lunar Rover

is.

the flag of China.

Do they have to take political correctness THIS FAR?!

Yes, China might go to the Moon and stick their flag there some day

But is there really such a need to put that on a Moon-landing model now?

Father figures

2010-11-18T21:34:00.002+08:00

I'm collecting that.

Coincidentally they have the same first name, they're of the same age

They do similar stuff

I know them in similar ways.

One is already my father figure, the other probably will be.

Coincidence? Whatever, life is treating me well. Life, thank you!

This reminds me of Kill Bill.

Mphil

2010-11-11T08:08:00.002+08:00

可能會讀埋佢

it's the eternal struggle between

Pursuing my childhood dream and being whom I'm expected to be

If I study mphil, I have the chance to go to places that I've been dreaming to go to since I was 6.

But then I won't get the chance to join the field at the most appropriate time

If I just go and join the field now, I will NEVER get the chance to go to those places.

I got information from Dr. S that I could apply for it no matter what, and if I want to at the end, reject the offer. So I'll apply for it. And that leaves me just 3 weeks to complete the proposal from scratch.

懶搵工

2010-11-05T13:48:00.002+08:00

一堆堆的careers email 殺過來

每天一封

不看好像對不住自己，miss 了什麼golden opportunity 的話怎辦

但看了也沒什麼用

不想做commercial sector 不想做banks

要等到明年四五月才有我想做的工

有想過找不到工作的後果

而且打算報張cert 黎讀

最多...乜都無嘅話就教琴

Daddy 叫我乜都報

應就應左佢，不過有好多真係報唔落手

我唔想做啲喺office 做到兩點，幫人搵錢嘅工 (which doesn't leave me many options)

教琴教樂理唔係理想嘅生活

但係一定有飯開

如補習一樣

有無限嘅supply (those capable of teaching) 同無限嘅demand (kids learning instruments)

多謝阿媽比我學琴

(不，我不是被逼死的港孩，我是八十後)

Any means, for the same end

2010-11-04T23:15:00.002+08:00

阿哥 (見code)講得好啱，我做所有野都係為左同一個end
我做乜真係唔緊要
只要得到sense of family, 我就會去做

拎scholarship dean list etc
係為左成為 "one of them"
寫野寫得好
係為左qualify 我將來所做嘅post
果陣同I 做frd，做H 嘅RA
係為左入呢個field
因為我知道呢度會搵到sense of family

做乜都好
只要維持到而家嘅關係就得

我係唔係真係想做呢行? 無所謂
只不過係穩定，已經有network
呢兩年Daddy train 我做左咁多呢field 嘅野
唔做好似好嘥咁
極老土講句，我想繼承父業

心郁郁想讀mphil
呢幾日睇dissertation
不過讀左就上唔到呢班車
從H 口中收到風，出年daddy 會升去一個好重要嘅post
我搵工搵野學上seminar 會易啲
呢個位佢應該唔會長做，所以我要入行就要快
唔會有時間俾我讀左mphil 先

mphil 可能係pursue of my real interest
入行只係satisfy immediate desire/craving
點揀?

以上，我現實只敢同阿哥講

Injured...again

2010-11-02T20:47:00.002+08:00

Cycled for two hours last Friday without doing any warm up.
And then stood for a whole day from 9-6 last Saturday to talk to visitors about our department.
Followed by, when visitors had left, a 'football' match with the balloons while we tidied things up.

Somehow I got my right quadriceps strained. Can't even cross my legs without my hand helping it.
So...no more kendo, no more hiking, no more long-hours walking until it's healed =(

One good thing: I can concentrate on my essays and dissertation XD

吊頸唞氣

2010-10-24T21:20:00.002+08:00

Got myself THREE days of holiday! Doing absolutely nothing except reading Tolkien.

And I'm 60-70% recharged.
My psychological and physical state have been at 10% for months.
Now feeling better

I think after the coming weekend with lots of exercise and some happy hours I'll be 100% recharged
=D

And be well prepared for the coming hectic month!

What the hell is happening to me?

2010-10-21T20:11:00.002+08:00

怎麼我連history essay 也寫不好

politics ethics 的essay D 了也算, philosophy-related 的東西我從來也弄不好
hist essay send 給professor check 完才交
回來的comment 是他不知我在說什麼

天呀...
我怎麼了?
忘了怎寫essay? train 了6年現在才忘記?

I'm in the eternal vicious cycle. I wasn't feeling well, so I worked slowly, and then work pile up and I get no time to rest, then I feel more tired and work even more slowly and poorly, then I get even less time to rest/relax and just working round the clock, and i get more stressed, tired and produce poorer quality work, and so on.

November and especially 24th/25th October are, for no reason, my lucky month/days. 24th/25th is coming very soon, and I hope this can be a turning point of my recent life, turning it back to normal.

How could this happen to me????????????

Is this a nightmare, can I just wake up from this?

2010-10-12T19:05:00.002+08:00

3 bad things happening to me within 5 days, seriously I can't take this, this is too much for me.

Screwed up IELTS. That's mysterious and not that significant.

Screwed up job application. That's accidental, out of my poor state of mind.

Screwed up an essay. I got a D and that's probably the worst one in class. I used to be in the top of EVERYTHING (well except pmaths and philosophy). This is an ethics class, perhaps ethics is similar to philosophy. The thing is, this is an ability thing, not like how I screwed up my application. I'm horribly upset for this because if I get a C range as my final semester grade, that will cost me my first hon no matter how high a GPA I have. I'm currently at the GPA range that it is certain I'll get a 1st hon. I got in Dean's List last sem. too. It's not like I can't fix this, if I get A-range in both the coming essay and exam, I can certainly pull this up. And which I should, I have always done so, always. Still upset but...I'll go find the prof. and ask her how I can improve it. I've been through a similar situation before, my pmaths almost ripped me off the opportunity to go to university. I managed that, I can mange this.

Anyone seeing this, please pray for me that my dark days will be over soon, asap, if not now.
I'm not a believer, not an atheist though.

Aftermath

2010-10-11T07:40:00.004+08:00

I really have NEVER screwed something this big up.
To have 2 things screwed up over just one weekend
And I hope I'll never do so again.

The up side, I've found someone to talk to.
And I managed to sleep last night.

Songs of the day

Shit happens, or maybe not.

2010-10-10T21:41:00.003+08:00

I just made a terrible mistake.

Horrible, horrible mistake.

I'll have to lie to some about it, aka most of my friends and my mom.

The cost of this mistake is a job which I wouldn't really love
but want(ed) to have, or at least want to go through the interviewing process.

Feeling really bad, but still looking at the bright side at the same time.

The thing is, I've been in a REALLY bad status recently.
I read the instructions, wasn't sure about it, then made the mistake.
Damn I can't even go through the first stage.
I had my internship there, I went through alllllllllll the stages, I got hired.

Now my job application status is regret.
And yes I don't get to do those other tests. I'm simply kicked out.
All because of that mistake I made, one that I shouldn't have.

How can I restore myself to what I should be?
THIS CANNOT GO ON FOREVER!!!

my IELTS just got screwed up

2010-10-09T13:44:00.002+08:00

Last time (one year ago) I got an overall score of 8.0.
Bandscore 9, 8.5, 7.5, 6.5.
This time I got an overal of 7.5.
Bankscore 9, 9, 6.5, 6.0.

I'm completely speechless, and luckily I can still use the one last time.
I've told all my close friends about it, which leads me to think about the decreasing importance of family.

Before we have phone we either communicate with our friends through paper-mail or meetings. Any news would usually be shared with family first, because they are the only available ones to talk to.
Now we can choose to talk to anyone, given that they have a phone/computer. We talk to them anytime, anywhere. The first 'layer' of emotional explosion, those emotion upheavals and rant don't have to be dealt with by family members. Friends will do that all right, and many of the times they do it better than family does.

And this becomes a cycle that friends tend to understand us more than family members do.
That's a curious phenomenon as a result of the technology boom.

劍道 Kendo

2010-10-06T23:17:00.002+08:00

今天上第一堂
好好玩 =)

同其他martial arts 一樣
都係講manner，諗起300 movie 入面嘅一句
"respect and honour"

因為唔想埋身肉搏
所以今次係我第一次學martial arts
終於有得學標準嘅動作
仲唔洗好似以前咁以水樽/手臂代劍 =DDDDD

Dark forces taking over the universe?

2010-09-30T07:56:00.004+08:00

I went to the Shaw Astronomy Prize lecture yesterday.
As a history student with physics level of F.3, I could only understand 60-70% of the content.
It was about how the WMAP measure the size of the universe through detecting the levels of microwaves, the amount of energy etc.

Something interesting, and not really related to the main topic caught my attention.
The universe is made up of less than 5% of matter, matter that makes us and everything we see.
And the remaining are dark energy and dark matter.
Dark matter cannot be seen, but is there because of its effect on gravity.
Dark energy doesn't even have any effect on gravity. It's just something filling the space of the universe as the universe keeps expanding. But it is significant because it is taking an increasingly large proportion of the universe, virtually 'taking over'.

So, my question is, is it the dark energy that is pushing the universe to expand, or maybe it has a role in it? Or is it that the universe is already expanding and through that some dark energy is created so to fill the space?

Quick update

2010-09-28T08:37:00.003+08:00

It occurs to me that in the past year festivals had not been marked and remembered by specific celebrations and large family gatherings, but by the hiking trips of the 3 of us.

請大家小心身體

2010-09-24T19:48:00.002+08:00

阿媽之前病左，差唔多好番
Father figure 啱啱病左
我開始sore throat

============================================================
部macbook 啱啱病完
MacBook 嘅可愛之處係佢識自己好番
上星期開始個screen 有1/5 變左個white shade，用得但係好煩
今日突然無事

更可愛之處係佢hang 機只限特定application
Force quit 個application 就可以繼續
唔會成部機停左

K歌之王改篇 --- Thesis 之王

2010-09-19T16:35:00.005+08:00

Inspired by my postgraduate friends and those who did their dissertation/Final Year Project

我寫得不夠動人你別皺眉
我願意研究肚餓至死
我只想嬉戲唱遊到下世紀
請你別嫌我寫得太長還要給你

還能憑甚麼　篇文若未令你興奮
便宜地打出寫在維基的句子
還能憑甚麼　要是我不可 plagiarize
俗套的topic　煽動你惻忍

＊誰人又相信一秒寫出這膚淺數段
　來吧送給你那幾百頁重頭讀過的source
　如從未聽過導言如conclu~這麼悶
　才令我寫到要呼天叫地cha cha cha cha (cross out)那麼多＊

將我漫天心血一一拋到銀河
誰是垃圾　誰不捨我難過　send一篇文贈我

我寫出心裡話時眼淚會流
要是怕難過抱住隻(虎/狗/個枕/any hug-able things)
我只得千語萬言放在個plan
比渴望拿個dean list (or first hon)更簡單未算罕有

REPEAT＊

給你用力作二十版不捨不棄
還附送我看得發火
給你賣力作二十版真心真意
個keyboard都因我動容　無人及我
你怎麼竟然說thesis之王是我

我只知這個未來會餓到傻
而你那呵欠絕得不能絕　絕到溶掉我

轉載自facebook: 好朋友

2010-09-17T13:49:00.001+08:00

以下bold+Italics 了的發生在我身上 =D

1、好朋友就是經常叫你"去死吧"的那些人......

2、好朋友就是老是說你有病叫你看醫生的那些人......

3、好朋友就是抓住你的一個缺點說上半天的那些人......

4、好朋友就是在你面前肆無忌憚地說很難聽的話的那些人......

5、好朋友就是說要拉大隊去你學校把你吃窮的那些人......

6、好朋友就是看著你玩得很開心，自己卻在旁邊不參與也會覺得很開心的那些人......

7、好朋友就是會教你怎麼走路小心，過馬路看車的那些人......

8、好朋友就是你考完試還暈乎乎的時候出現在你面前嘻嘻哈哈，還說你不要怕，吸取經驗，明年再考過的那些人......

9、好朋友就是跟你一起不分輕重可是對你父母畢恭畢敬的那些人......

10、好朋友就是平時惡型惡相，卻在你遇到難事時語重心長地開導你的那些人......

11、好朋友就是那些無論原本是憂鬱，沉默或是樂觀向上，在一起總是嬉鬧聲一片的那群人......

12、好朋友就是你想起他時會嘴角上揚的那些人......

13、好朋友就是時間和距離都無法從你腦海和心中帶走的人......

14、好朋友就是聽到你說了一句錯話笑鬧半天還要羅嗦上一段時間的那些人......

15、好朋友就是不經常聯繫，但你還忘不掉的那個人。

16、好朋友就是兩個人在一起時，你不用擔心會說什麼錯話，做錯什麼事的那個人。

17、好朋友是你會突然想念的那個人。

18、好朋友是無論誰佔誰一點便宜都不會計較的那個人。

19、好朋友就是和你同甘共苦，不會出賣你的那個人。

20、好朋友就是什麼事都會和你分享的那個人。

21、好朋友就是好久沒見，在一起時還會和你套心窩子說話，就像昨天剛在一起吃過飯的那人。

22、好朋友就是和他在一起時你是最真實的你的那個人。

23、好朋友就是很久沒聯繫，見面也不會尷尬的那個人。

24、好朋友就是無論你做了什麼傻事。都會給你支持和信任的那個人。

25、好朋友就是無論她做了什麼，你也覺得他是你好朋友的那個人。

26、好朋友就是半夜三更會和你一起糾結要不要睡覺的那個人。

27、好朋友就是在你面前會變得囉嗦，你會笑著說他像你媽的那個人。

28、好朋友就是無聊時喜歡湊在一堆一起做無聊的傻事的那些人。

29、好朋友就是會和你在大街上，即使丟臉也會拽著你的手狂奔的那個人。

30、好朋友就是會跟你在無意間對視之後再跟你一塊放聲狂笑的那個人。

31、好朋友就是你會因為他的一句話而充滿勇氣與信心的那個人。

32、好朋友就是彼此之間喜歡惡作劇並且在惡作劇成功之後兩人都笑得很開心的那個人。

兩週一聚第四十六期: 我喜愛的老師

2010-09-15T23:17:00.004+08:00

懶打中文，轉台, 中文version 後補

I wanted to talk about the teacher who is like my father figure. But on second thought I've talked about him a LOT here and I think I should talk about someone else. Someone as good as him, if not better.

He is my maths teacher, and a good friend (probably best friend) of my father figure. He taught me for 4 years from F.4 and F.7. A very shy man who doesn't talk to his students much. It was kind of bad of us to make jokes about him behind his back, giving him various nicknames, but nonetheless we respected him, and still respect him very much.

His teaching is great, extremely clear, and he's passionate, addicted to maths (got a blog on teaching maths and maths-learning), but these are qualities many great teachers can have.

What is most 'sacred' of him is that he never, N.E.V.E.R. gives up on us. There were so many times that we didn't do well because we didn't try hard enough, because we were careless, etc. He cries once in front of every class (yes, a man!) he taught when we perform horribly, because he feared that we'd stuck there forever. (He taught me twice, so I've seen him crying twice) And after that he used new methods, explaining things to us in the simplest ways possible. He never scolds us on not doing well, the only time he scolded us was when we were 15min late for class because we spent too much time taking photos on the last day of F.5.

I still remember the time when I only scored 13% in my exam and he told me to see him. Talked for almost an hour and he suggested a huge bunch of ways to help me improve. Indeed I felt better and had more hope. For badly-performing students like me, not only he tried to help us improve technically, but he also tried to boost our confidence. I ended up with just an E, and when I told him about it he said "我知呀! 有大學讀啦!" (If I failed that, I wouldn't have enough subjects to meet the uni entrance requirement)

He pays a lot of attention to our behaviour. It was a 死罪 to be late for class without a valid reason, and even worse if we handed in our homework late because we forgot to do it. We appreciate that he pays so much attention in making us punctual and do things seriously.

He had a personal blog which he thought only him and a few close friends know about it, but actually all his students do. We kept track of the 'secrets' in school and also his thoughts about us through his updates. (He has closed it now, after he leaked some extremely important information there and I warned him through my father figure).

It is difficult to describe those 4 years of his teachings and his personality in words.
Perhaps I should end this by putting a part of his blog entry here. (I saved this piece before he closed the blog) There are so many times when we read his blog and we just wanted to go to him and say "Mr X, you're great! It's just we're not good enough and we're sorry for that", but we've never said that, somehow we just don't really dare to talk to him.

"我無奈，因為教書和讀書很不同。當我讀書時，只要我尊注、努力，我用盡我的精神，我必定可以成功，完全達到我的目標。但當我教書時，無論我如何努力，花盡我的精神，結果仍然可以好失敗，目標好像會愈跑愈遠的。

我慚愧，因為我並不如學生覺得我是那麼好。我有很多的缺失，包括性格上、價值標準上及做人處事上等等，有些缺失連自己也過不到自己，我不是一個好的榜樣。而且我真的沒有教「好」學生，不少學生的能力都得高，我卻不能令學生完全發揮；很多學生應該要學習的價值和習慣，我卻不能好好教導學生，

我感激，因為學生還多謝我。學生所花的心思，我除了感激便沒有話說了。

我偶然欣喜，因為有學生會因為我的指導而發奮向上。雖然不是每一個學生也如此，或者說只有很少數學生會如此，但每有遇上這類學生，我都會心感歡樂。

或許，這些就是教書的體驗。

在這個宇宙世界無限的空間裡，我們不同的時間軸上，出現了重疊部份，因此在茫茫人海中，我們有緣相遇。數年後，我可能會忘記你們的名字，你們也未會記得我所說過的話；而一百年後，我們的記憶更會消失於那時候的空間中。但這都不重要，因為我曾經在今天記得你們的名字，理解你們的心情，和你們遇上，有過種種的體驗，而你們也曾經聽過及記得我所說過的話，曾經走進我的心中，這已確確實實地刻畫在此空間及我們的時間軸上，組成了宇宙世界永不消失的一部分，縱使卑微卻是不可改變的事實。連上帝也不能夠改變這個事實呢！"

其他好老師

錯別字有時可以好好笑

2010-09-15T21:32:00.002+08:00

我懷疑我有一個同父異母嘅妹

2010-09-14T09:37:00.003+08:00

Updated: 阿媽話唔似樣，可能係隻雞喺同我生父果邊穿煲後即刻搵人攪大個肚然後屈人結婚

阿媽搵到隻雞個facebook
隻雞同一個男人結左婚，有一仔一女
個仔ard 六歲
個女點睇都過十歲

如果佢係佢呀媽個女 (即係如果隻雞唔係繼母)
如果佢係11-15歲 (睇樣睇唔到)
佢會係我half sister

我唔想要

Life lesson no. n, where n is any integer

2010-09-09T20:48:00.002+08:00

When facing someone you hate very much, smile and pretend nothing ever happened.
Be natural.

That is something easier said than done.

Practised it for years, and still need some refinement.

人去樓空

2010-09-04T17:20:00.003+08:00

失去了才懂珍惜

去年我也有珍惜
但轉變真的太大了

不再有145 席地而坐把水把酒高談闊論一個下午，很emotional 但很實在的時光
不再有那fantasy
不再有那完美的幻想, 盼望
不再有從新鮮感而來的刺激

可見的未來更甚，簡直是曲終人散

但我選擇繼續活在夢中
那怕有天bubble 被刺穿
至少我享受過

無題

2010-09-01T20:17:00.002+08:00

不要不要假設我知道
一切一切也都是為我而做
為何這麼偉大　如此感覺不到
不說一句的愛有多好？
只有一次記得實在接觸到...
騎著單車的我倆　懷緊貼背的擁抱

* 難離難捨想抱緊些　茫茫人生好像荒野
如孩兒能伏於爸爸的肩膊　誰要下車
難離難捨總有一些　常情如此不可堆卸
任世間再冷酷　想起這單車還有幸福可惜
（任世間怨我壞　可知我只得你承受我的狂或野）

經已給我怎會看不到
雖說演你角色實在有難度
從來虛位以待　何不給個擁抱？
想我怎去相信這一套
多疼惜我卻不便讓我知道
懷念單車給你我　唯一有過的擁抱

難離難捨想抱緊些　茫茫人生好像荒野
如孩兒能伏於爸爸的肩膊
哪怕遙遙長路多斜
你愛我愛多些　讓我他朝走得堅壯些
你介意來愛護　又靠誰施捨

陣腳大亂

2010-08-25T23:07:00.002+08:00

很突然的消息
幸好我敢問

由11時正到現在身體仍不停顫抖
是慌，是迷失，是興奮，是陣腳大亂，是嚇呆
未來整個career的plan，一下子亂了
這消息需要最少一星期慢慢沉澱，消化

23.12
顫抖減了，也呆了
同一件事，是好事，也是壞事

感謝有這個blog
把我凌亂得連放進diary也不行的感覺/thoughts 放下
寫住咁多先，明天再續

C vs H

2010-08-25T07:18:00.001+08:00

跟本就唔關我事!
但係識左I 之後識埋H，就開始知得太多

我逼不得已越黎越似一個undercover
但係我知嘅野，邊個都唔講得
當事人更加唔敢! 唔想hurt 佢
又知，但係又唔可以理
長期係咁好辛苦

請大家明天穿黑衣

2010-08-23T22:47:00.001+08:00

死者們，安息

兩週一聚第四十四期: 我的好朋友

2010-08-14T07:51:00.002+08:00

這篇有點離題
朋友都在身邊 (科技發達)，想起的就只有..........

某某:
我閉上眼，第一個想起的，就是你
一年前，整整一年前的今天我遇上你，然後就迷住了
第一眼看見你，就想深深認識你，和你一起走過餘下的人生
到現在也不知為什麼，也許這就是一見鍾情吧

曾經，也只不過是一年前，我常說我這輩子也不會拍拖結婚，因為我的擇偶條件實在太高，高得沒可能有人會meet 到
遇上你後我再沒說過這一句
老實說，你很多方面也不乎合我以前定下的"標準"
但是感性的我看著你，不知怎的就是覺得那麼完美

曾經嘗試忘記你，因為我們屬於兩個世界，只不過是在迎新營中共事三天, 幾乎連朋友也不是
但我做不到
以為忘了，夢中看見你
夢中都不見了, 卻在現實世界撞到正，然後共處20分鐘
好像有點什麼主宰著，不讓我把你忘掉

================================================

這是我在現實中不會說的話，一切順其自然啦

朋友s http://2weeks1gather.wordpress.com/2010/08/11/10年8月15日第四十四期-我的好朋友

新blog

2010-08-05T07:46:00.002+08:00

醒來立即把夢記下

http://vicdreamsandnightmares.blogspot.com/

除了求其執執啲grammar 外，都是半睡半醒時打的

今天天氣很好

2010-08-01T22:15:00.003+08:00

熱死添

行龍脊，熱到件衫搾得出汗 (相不post 了)

天氣:

開多個blog

2010-08-01T18:24:00.000+08:00

放夢

有太多奇怪的夢
有些源自每天看的經歷的，炒賣一碟
有些真的不知從哪來

兩週一聚第四十三期題目: 「色彩聯想」

2010-07-24T22:59:00.003+08:00

一向愛粉藍/天藍色
可能是源自幼稚園的回憶
初班的書包和名/班牌都是粉藍
用很滑很軟的膠造
每天都很快樂，很有新鮮感

還有秋天的無雲藍天
不知怎的我逢11月總是非常好運
每個11月總有些日子 (去年例外) 天是清藍的
所以一看見天藍色心情就會很好了

然後是黑色
不論是電腦，書，銀包，電話，眼鏡，總是黑的
外出要小心不要天天穿全黑
冬天更甚，高鋒期洗衫後掛著的就是一大堆黑
我有時喜歡隱形
可能這是我喜愛穿黑的原因吧
esp 那black jeans!
厚厚的不會發黃，不會舊

最近開始對earth colour scheme 有興趣
易襯衫，也比黑色多配搭

還有銀色
但我分不清我是喜歡這色還是通常是銀色的物料
買了吧Lord of the Rings 劍(Anduril)，就天天看著刀刃那滑滑的，銀色的鋼

上星期四(22)黑色暴雨，約了朋友到尖沙咀吃飯
那時差不多日落，下著毛毛雨
西邊的天像是被太陽燒著了
黃色的雲像煙般從香港島飄過來
北面還在閃電，然後我轉向東面
有一條很清晰的彩虹橫跨維港，一端是北角，另一端大約是佐敦
那是條很大很大的彩虹啊，有120º!!!
可惜那天電話沒有電，不能拍照

五顏六色

兩週一聚第四十二期題目: 塞翁失馬

2010-07-15T23:35:00.003+08:00

首先多謝大家嘅支持
由於聽日番工，今晚要早瞓，所以聽晚先睇你地嘅posts
==============================================

以前遇到任何失望嘅事都會覺得好灰好絕望
但係過左一段時間look back
發覺我賴以為生嘅野就係失望後似乎是偶然遇上的機會

e.g. 今個summer 本來以為有份工 (A)，都幾多錢，但係有少少靠關係，而且唔會點學到野
interview 完左無消息，好驚自己成個summer 無野早
而且好懷疑自己會唔會連咁簡單嘅工都搵唔到
然後灰灰下就突然有得報而家做得非常開心嘅一份工 (B)
好彩做唔到份A工，or else我會學少好多野
B工係自己搵嘅，成功咁會比搵到A工大好多

以前都試過幾次similar situation
的確，船到橋頭自然直
好事會發生的，只可能是時機未到
所以有事唔開心就會提自己:
而家係一個prep stage，preparing for the best
就是交學費

又，如果沒經歷過失望
怎會有對比，怎會感受到得到時的興奮

其他走甩左嘅馬

兩週一聚第四十二期題目: 塞翁失馬

2010-07-01T12:33:00.004+08:00

第一次出題，想過幾個題目，覺得這個和生活的關係最大

有否試過失去了某些機會/人/事/物而非常不快
過了一段時間，可能是幾天，甚至幾年後想起
如果不是失去了某東西，就不會有今天自己滿意的生活?
七月十五日，談一下你的經歷

===============================
copy and paste 自兩週一聚blog:

凡第一名到出題者網文處留言報名者，便負責出下一期題目。
若你曾經出過題又不想再出的話，請留言點明，出題權便順序歸於第二位報名博客

兩週一聚第四十一期: 夢想之旅

2010-07-01T12:15:00.003+08:00

從來都很想去backpack travel
一個人用自己的速度走，放下城市的chaos
慢慢感受當地的文化和生活
去哪不太重要
有山有水就好

可是我只懂中英文
要backpack travel 就只好去english-speaking country

其中一個想去的是new zealand
F.3 起迷上lord of the rings後就很想去new zealand 走一趟
harry potter land 是有的，但lord of the rings land 就只有new zealand

UK 也好，常從google docs 看她的路和landscape
想像自己在那田間遊走, 住B&B，參觀castles, 很美好的生活

也許明年grad trip 可以去其中一個地方

其他夢想之旅

暑假!!!!!!!!!

2010-06-28T13:33:00.005+08:00

聽日開始番工 =D
summer internship till 31st August.
代價係到december 先可能有得放假
不過當然係值嘅!
呢個係一個俾我試下鐘唔鐘意office 工嘅機會
仲會學到好多野!

我份dissertation draft 要weekend + 夜晚做
好充實 XD

下星期就21，正正式式legal, 回想呢三年嘅人+事
好想大叫一句
"我大個啦! "
未來一年，不會理GPA
就只要做到最好

和father figure 談過
發覺自己有一大堆skills 上的不足
即係我除左academic results 外仲有其他目標 =D

轉載: 練乙錚：事功殆因團結誤道術敢為天下裂

2010-06-24T18:04:00.001+08:00

【信報】筆者上周提出一個觀點，認為泛民主派成功分成兩翼，靈活性大增，三黨在政治光譜上的相對位置拉開，合理化了，能推出不同的民主政治綱領、政策和策略，供應「政治市場」上泛民一端的民眾內部政治需求，故此形勢大好，不是小好。

傳統智慧認為「泛民沒有分裂的本錢」，但這個看法只在最基本的層次正確，在策略性的、具體運作的層次，卻大有問題。別的不說，從前泛民群眾投票要配票，效果不好，何秀蘭一度「出馬」失利，便是例證，皆因各民主黨派提供的「政治產品」太雷同，派內各黨、各參政者之間的異化不夠故也；換句話說，當時的民主派太團結。

和和氣氣地團結，給泛民群眾的感覺良好，但實效一直不彰；去團結而趨異化，反可逆境求勝。從五區公投到最近的政改一役上看，此結論更為清楚。民主派分成兩翼之後，港人意識裏很快普遍確立了一重要論述，那就是「當權派不讓步，香港社會無可避免激進化」；這個論述已經、並會在今後產生強大作用。

民主黨向中間移動

然而，要確立這個論述，單是社民連激進化，還不夠說服力；到後來，連一個根植中上階層的公民黨也激進化了，社會大眾才看清政治形勢，統治階級才感到事態嚴重，知所應變。民主黨方面，也正正因為公社兩黨激進化，它才可向中間挪移而不再擔心在「友好競爭」之中失去部分群眾；它一旦向中間移動，便取得與中央談判的回旋空間，逼得當權派讓步。

民主派演化出兩翼，主要是通過五區公投完成的，社民連功不可沒，其他兩黨亦各自作出恰到好處的的反應；期間，雙方齟齬不絕，當會令泛民群眾擔心甚或失望、反感，但筆者認為，客觀而言，那不過是「產品異化」過程中的必然現象，不能避免，因為群眾不一定能接受理性異化而須動之以情，故民主派之間的罵戰縱使難聽，也並非絕對壞事。上述異化過程不靠共識，卻天衣無縫，因為有「政治上的無形之手」在運作。

政治競爭的內涵非常豐富，但其結果是否一定最好？就實現香港真正民主雙普選而言，以當權派接受「區議會改良方案」為標誌的六二三階段性結局，長遠是有利還是有害？這是關鍵問題，筆者有如下看法。當權派一方有兩股勢力，一是是北京的政治力量，一是本地資產階級，兩者大處不盡相同卻有互相利用的餘地，其他當權派陣營中人，都依附在這兩股勢力底下，有些是一身事二主，包括特區政府一些高官及部分傳統左派在內。

筆者分析過，當權派之中，最堅決反對政改即最反動的力量，不是北京而是本地資產階級，其基本立場之一便是凍結現有功能組別，不僅反對民主黨方案，連特區政府提出的區議會小圈子互選方案也絕不支持，因為對他們而言，今後最理想的結局便是政改永遠原地踏步；至於西環，觀乎其近月的行為及言論，概未與中央保持一致、「轉軚」最慢最不情願，則其為本地資產階級糖衣炮彈所收買，十居其九。「區議會改良方案」獲中央接受，輸家便是本地資產階級及中聯辦。衝垮此路障之一角，是民主黨近月努力成果之一。

其次，由於中央已決定直接干預本地政改，泛民今後直接與之博弈，不能不注意中央處理香港政治事務手法的一貫特點：關鍵事上，言而寡信。八十年代以來，中央對港人作的重要諾言，包括「一國兩制、港人治港」、○七年起可以雙普選等等，一一落空，而挖空心思、扭盡六壬炮製出的新概念如政改五步曲（比原來多了兩步）、功能組別不一定違反普選原則等等，卻層出不窮。

事實上，中央政府的政治信用比起特區政府的更不如。因此，泛民今後作政改要求，要以「現貨交易」為主要原則；其他一切多年之後才兌現的東西，不太值得爭取，因為如果有「需要」，中央大不了不要面，來一個人大決議，承諾便化為烏有。

此次民主黨提出方案之後，在談判過程中不斷有所退讓，但退讓的東西說到底，現在都不足惜，因為都是要求中央給出的種種兌現期七年以上的「期貨」，如終極方案、路線圖、普選定義等；爭取而沒退讓的，卻是眼下這屆「立會新增區議會議席由三百多萬市民投票產生」這件「現貨」，可謂得宜。

與寡信者談判，一鳥在手，勝過十鳥於林。當然，便是這件「現貨」，中央要反悔還是可以，只不過言猶在耳，巧立名目不容易、政治代價比較大而已；最好的保證，還得靠全體泛民從不同方面不懈施壓，務求令中央貨真價實。

民主運動形勢大好

「區議會改良方案」當然只是通往真正雙普選的細小而不完全保證有所得的一步，其負面已由激進派深入分析，不必在此多說，但筆者認為，爭取成功了，重要概念意義還有兩點，俱不在於其本身：

其一，是讓「民主派為反對而反對」之說不攻自破。先是五區公投打出新局面，顯露了民情，特首面對此形勢，不得不與激進派人物認真對話，中央則更因此知道有必要審時度世，開展了與民主派溫和翼的談判。

如果泛民領袖都是脫離群眾、為反對而反對之輩，則最高權力認真與之溝通，毫無必要，何苦來哉？故政府近日的行為已反證，這些久被當權派誣衊的反對派，其實是一直以來真正最為民主建港而反對政治特權的社會精英，是光榮的反對派；當權派再要口不擇言，只能是自打嘴巴。

其二，是向泛民群眾闡明「泛民雙翼相輔相成缺一不可」的大道理。此次民主黨及其盟友有所建樹，必須認識到，是客觀上有公社兩黨和社會上大批激進派作強大後盾方能達致的；若港人只有柔軟一面，共產黨會聽你的？

再打個比喻說，短跑好手預賽跑出了名次，應部分歸功那個只提供反作用力的起步器；況且，以後再要入圍進半準決賽、準決賽乃至決賽，還得靠那放地下沒跟着你跑的東西。故激進派這陣子便是批得猛、罵得兇，溫和派裏裏外外也別反應過度，反而是要對當權派惡意抽水保持警惕，及時作適度反應。「宜將剩勇追窮寇，不可沽名學霸王」，毛主席這句詩後面的典故，溫和派抽象繼承還用得着。

自五區公投至六二三，政治板塊挪移，民主運動形勢大好不是小好，但今後還得靠各方出牌理性、精準，才可繼續有所斬獲。因為對手是強大、聰明、綿密的，而且資源豐富。

http://commentshk.blogspot.com/2010/06/blog-post_5126.html

lost

2010-06-24T00:30:00.005+08:00

這篇好亂，在整理思緒

I know what i'm doing, but I don't know what I'm doing.

放了GPA, 找到summer job, 還有份-我都唔知呢份叫乜-的feedback 都很好

這個GPA keep 到就有first hon, 今年也該有dean's list

但我在做甚麼？向著無盡的deadlines 不停跑啊跑

由二月到現在，就是斷斷續續的趕deadline

未來兩個月上班，也當然是趕deadline

然後final year, 又當然是deadlines

我不是做不到

令我更frustruated 的是我這sem放在讀書上的時間少得可憐

學業上，交了貨就有美麗的grades

只要看著deadline 計劃好，到時到候坐定定工作就是

我是想從生命中找點甚麼，但不知從哪找

三月那堆生死榮辱其實到現在都未完全平復

I know what I need, but I'm not sure what I want

I do everything to ensure I will have all I need.

I make a checklist of things that I need, and i do everything to meet with those needs.

Fulfilling these needs sustain my life, but what for?

兩年大學過去了

三年前那chaos 仍歷歷在目

未來一年打算平平靜靜專心的努力讀書

畢竟是最後一年，未來該不會再有類似的機會

不知會否讀mphil, 他們全都叫我讀，我都是說先看看dissertation 怎樣

另，我真的需要一塊牆，只有三面牆第四面拉簾的房快令我發瘋

早睡的話廳有聲有光跟本睡不著

每天大清早也當然會被吵醒

今日街頭 jam @ 北京道行人隧道!

2010-06-03T10:04:00.002+08:00

=D

兩週一聚第三十九期: 窗外

2010-06-03T00:04:00.002+08:00

窗外下著滂沱大雨

大得看不清街道

行雷閃電

已是半夜

有數個行人打著傘衝衝走過

沒傘的就絕望地避雨

而我

則安坐家中享受著雨聲雷聲

希望這雨不要停

其實有點變態

和其他人談起

原來大家都一樣

其他窗

Myth

2010-05-28T20:01:00.005+08:00

Myth by Vic Muelot

Dedicated to my friend's cat Myth, who suffered a sudden death (over 4 days) before she turned 5.

Salute!

2010-05-19T21:14:00.002+08:00

俾雷聲嘈醒後記:

昨晚在facebook 與五毛對戰，爽!

迪士尼的感慨

2010-05-19T10:10:00.005+08:00

有年票，加$80蚊就帶到人去

三點半入到去剛好巡遊

我竟然一看到那些巡遊車

要忍著淚水忍著情緒

第一次去disney是和兩個機緣巧合而相熟的人

然後圍繞著他們發生的

是愛、恨、墮落、機遇、背叛、親情的巧驗、失而復得…

這一年的種種，就在一瞬間閃過面前

我無乜野叻，最叻講大(假)話同守秘密

因為他們而講，和跟他們講的，實在太多

有美麗的謊言，也有是為掩飾的

亦因為咁，身邊所有人都信我

君子之交淡如水，小人之交甜如蜜

係我呢一年黎學到既野

由舊年三月到今年三月發生既事實在太多

誰是生死之交，誰是利益之交

我已分得一清二楚

呢幾個月睇住身邊既人相繼break down

我都好想break 一次

但係一係無mood

一係就係呢d咁suitable 既地方有mood...

有d人我想同佢地講對唔住

對唔住，我曾經當你係朋友，但唔再係，不過我會扮你仲係

對唔住，我講過你壞話黎套取另一個人既信任

對唔住，我實在對你講得太多假話

亦有d人我想講多謝

多謝，你畀咁多機會我

多謝，你地咁信得過我既ability

多謝，你默默咁教左我好多人生道理

多謝，您令到我放低左好多無謂既執著

胃

2010-05-18T11:16:00.004+08:00

呢兩日趕工

唔係趕功課，試考哂essay 交哂

係趕我自願做嘅dissertation proposal

因為係自願，所以好專心 (罕有地)

唔係好似平時咁坐喺到三個鐘 = 溫書半個鐘期餘上網facebook食野youtube

亦因為咁我個胃又shut down左

次次一有野令我專心就係咁

食左幾個鐘都唔消化

但係一唔係做緊份proposal 就好肚餓

我而家食緊呀媽整嘅麥皮...唔係幾食得落

但係我唔更硬食嘅話一餓係會餓死 XD

一陣去disney, 我唔想去到暈低~

毒

2010-05-08T22:25:00.005+08:00

救命我個frd S 幾時先肯停吸毒呀

佢係連stop 嘅intention 都無

講黎講去佢都唔覺得呢個係問題

即使佢已經feel 到個effect

我問佢食幾多...佢話don't know....not many

佢以前喺我中學次次都排全級頭25架.........(我一次都未試過)

點解要咁嶞落呢...

"i notice this in these three weeks, and now. people know how to do hw, i dont . or i use double the time, and get worse marks."

"i really want to drop out or sth, i open my the exam paper, i only knew how to do less then one quarter of them. i nearly broken down in the exam."

七百年後

2010-05-05T21:38:00.003+08:00

聽著這歌

彷彿回到去年的盛夏

回到那個似有幻無

卻是實實在在的空間

那個把我抽離現實的空間

咦原來佢地知架?!

2010-05-04T21:39:00.004+08:00

http://hk.news.yahoo.com/article/100504/3/htp7.html

內地媒體指上海仍欠缺一流城市文化

(星島)2010年5月4日星期二 16:26

英文《中國日報》今天的專欄文章提到，世博似乎已讓上海成為一座世界一流城市，然而事實並非如此。與世界其他頂級城市相比，文化正是上海所欠缺的地方。

文章指出，在城市設施方面，上海迅速趕上甚至超過許多國際大都市。下一步的目標是發展成為全球的金融中心和航運樞紐。但僅僅將上海建設成為國際金融中心和航運樞紐，並不能實現「城市，讓生活更美好」這一上海世博會的主題。

文章以紐約為例指出，儘管上海有著一流的文化硬體設施，但與紐約每晚上演的那些豐富多彩的節目、表演相比，「上海簡直就是文化沙漠。」

文章表示，紐約的博物館、圖書館、歌劇院、美術館及公共體育設施，在數量上遠遠超過上海。紐約當地的報紙、雜誌和電視台等媒體也非常發達，作為世界公認的全球金融中心，美國同樣以其豐富的文化和悠久的歷史吸引著世界各地的人們。

文章認為，上海必須明確目標，更好地保護城市歷史，發展文化景觀。

================================================================

隱憂: 香港越黎越似上海

5.16

2010-05-03T18:12:00.003+08:00

問: 大家收到投票通知書未?

我未

quote facebook:

如果各位仍未收到五一六投票通知書，請在辦公時間致電28911001向選舉事務處查詢！投票權利得來不易，不要因為當局的冷處理忘記五一六公投日！

執房

2010-05-01T21:27:00.004+08:00

電腦終於完全死亡

所以終於有位買衣櫃

雖然考緊試不過照執房解電線拆電腦

多塵到呢...................

戰

2010-04-27T19:17:00.004+08:00

江湖兄弟

有事相求

雖未歷生死

卻已共榮辱

必盡綿力

但求事成

在世二十載

身心經磨鍊

願不負上天

誓警惡懲奸

Become who I am trained to be, bred to be, born to be.

自殺 x subconscious

2010-04-20T19:47:00.001+08:00

那衝動

每秒也緊跟著

我已不想死

但那衝動已成instinct

站在水壩上

總有衝動跳下去

當然我不會

拿著刀

就想切下去

當然我不會

多年來晚上入睡時人放鬆了

就有把聲在腦海中像野獸般大叫

翻來覆去紮醒清醒喘氣看看貼在床上的heart-warming photos 再嘗試入睡

再發兩三個typical nightmare

就是不停的打仗

不停的逃跑

係十年的後遺症? 可能

又或者係"史前"記憶

呀媽果日話我一歲幾果陣我biological father 已經無乜幫手

佢會喺廚房對住個窗大叫減壓 @@

我唔記得，但係可能果種聲已經入左subconscious

有時好想將呢啲唔算係問題嘅小問題同人講

但係我又唔係looking for help，講黎無用

對比起其他人嘅問題，我嘅實在太無聊

我又怕人地會覺得我脆弱

亦都唔想俾人知得咁detailed............

兒童不宜：我無專心聽書，我畫得唔靚

2010-04-20T19:34:00.006+08:00

我最近啲childhood memory 走曬出黎

quote Nietzsche, "What does not kill him, makes him stronger."

兩週一聚三十六期: C'est La Vie

2010-04-14T20:08:00.007+08:00

C'est La Vie?!

今天和W+Z 閒聯

Z仍接受不了mphil application 因沒有靠關係而被reject

同時反思有關係究竟應不應用

我很佩服Z 的moral standard

老實講

我...

一早已經用得就用

一早接受左呢個世界係咁

只要唔傷害到人

我又係capable of the job

我唔會理...

眼見靠關係但自己也不太知的Cal快PhD 畢業

W 被prof 的sign of friendship 弄得不能去US 升讀PhD

Z 連第一步也踏不出

有ability 無用

一定要有luck + connection?

c'est la vie?!!!!

其他 la vie: http://2weeks1gather.wordpress.com/2010/04/14/10年04月15日第三十六期-—-c’est-la-vie/

facebook 得10個人睇到嘅note 就咁copy 過黎

2010-03-29T01:22:00.000+08:00

I sleep early and get up early to work
i went to bed at 9.30pm and plan to get up at 3.30am, which is absolutely normal of me
first time got waken up by an SMS, which is fine, coz the light outside was still on, it was 11pm, and I had the phone on, vibration on, it's ok. Coz I can get back to sleep quickly.

2nd time, i really admire my brain's creativity when i'm sleeping
0.27am i finally managed to wake up
Things were really mo liu at first I was just heaing around having fun I guess i was learning piano even though i haven't done that for years. Nothing much.
then, was walking along street across my home, somehow I knew I had the power to control every single thing that happened.
So I tried to stop the light, tried to stop the traffic, and typically, I gave myself the ability to fly.

then saw someone in a 打劫-style mask
I stopped even the PEOPLE, flew there, took the mask off, and put it somewhere at the 平台 of one of the buildings
I was getting back to the ground and I thought I should put it somewhere else, where it's harder to find. I also thought the police would find my cells on the mask, if a robbery already took place, so I went back, took it and was thinking where to put it when things started to get out of control

Things were moving again, I tried to stop everything but I could only do it for a few seconds, I had to move, so I stuffed the mask into my own jacket pocket. I quickly went home, fearing that my home were robbed, coz I felt that the person in the mask was targeting my home.

To avoid the password to be seen, I used the key to open the gate, but I never used the key before so it took me almost a minute to open the building's door. Took the elevator, opened my home's door. No one was inside, it was all good, all fine. I closed the gate, closed the door. Just to check if anyone was outside, I looked out. (In my dream it is the same flat Im living in, but is curiously look 1.5 times larger, and got fewer stuff inside. Had the feeling that there were more rooms behind)

The elevator door opened. I saw someone who looked EXACTLY LIKE ME walking out of it, entering the 防煙門 like there was a flat inside. Auntie-next-door opened her door and talked to 'me'. They had a conversation, I was super scared coz there was another me. I guess I was dreaming, tried to wake myself up but it was not successful. Closed my eyes and opened for a few times and still there. Pinched myself, STILL THERE. The pain was fake, coz no matter how hard I tried it didn't hurt a lot. It's just memory of pain generated by my brain. The conversation outside was still going on. And finally I managed to wake up.

A-

2010-03-25T19:32:00.001+08:00

is NOT good enough
係，我果排係病左
but this not an excuse

我應該早啲做
我應該乜都睇，睇哂所有related嘅資料

A- is not good enough

兩週一聚第三十四期: 天問

2010-03-18T19:04:00.005+08:00

係呢篇嘅續集

問:
點解次次有好事發生喺我身上就有壞事發生喺其他人身上? 點解唔可以俾我真真正正慶祝一次?
(e.g. 我放AL - 我呀婆入醫院，我放JUPAS - 四川地震，我scholarship nominated - 我個frd Z 因為professors 的權力鬥爭個mphil application 被reject)

問:
點解frd W 因為 "sign of friendship" 佢個supervisor 搵左個唔關事嘅人做佢examiner結果因為 (亦都係早知) 唔同field再撞正個examiner想報仇攪到佢C左無得去美國讀PhD，點解咁黑暗?

忍唔住問多次:
點解咁黑暗?

問:
林鄭月娥幾時死，可唔可以快啲?

問:
就算佢唔死，香港可唔可以2012/2017普選?

問:
碧咸三個月內好番踢world cup 得唔得?

無聊一問:
我畢業有無first hon + dean list?

其他天問

強拍

2010-03-17T00:00:00.000+08:00

passing of laws is decided by number of votes in the legco instead of reason

this, originally, is not a bad thing
because reason may lead to different results from different perspectives
BUT

legco seats are decided by money and not popular opinion

突然有點嚮往共產主義 (karl marx 那種，不是lenin/stalin/ulbricht/毛澤東/金正日 etc 那種)

無奈

2010-03-06T01:55:00.003+08:00

唔知講乜好
半日之內發生咁多
次次都係有好事發生喺我身上
然後就有壞事發生喺其他人身上

聽緊:

搵唔到violin + piano version，最接近係呢個

龍脊遊

2010-02-28T03:41:00.004+08:00

本來想行哂成條港島徑第八段
點知轉錯一個彎變左淨係行龍脊
個friend 趕時間，又開始熱
下次再試

久違嘅大汗dup細汗
行到山頂雖然睇唔清300m 以外嘅景
但係仍然有大地在我腳下嘅感覺
加上極到潮濕嘅天氣
跣腳如clay嘅濕泥
好好玩

希望下星期無咁大霧
可以post 靚景相

兩週一聚三十三期: 完美的一餐(食物/人物)

2010-02-28T03:22:00.002+08:00

人:
1. Father figure (father i never had) [見第八段 ] + 好朋友 = 3 人行
or
2. best friends 3 個 = 4 人組

食:
無所謂，除左我唔食辣，唔食生野(腸胃唔好)，唔中意大部份東南亞食物

時:
行完山/踩完單車嘅悠閒下午
或夜晚, 最緊要大家都唔趕，慢慢傾，乜都傾
好多野心照，唔洗講都明
最享受我對住佢地無需要為講而講
係非常珍貴嘅relaxation

齊齊開飯

二月專題 : 圖文並茂【袋袋平安】

2010-02-24T12:30:00.005+08:00

番學帶電腦帶書帶水，加埋十幾磅

咩個backpack 方便過斜咩袋好多

夠大，借多幾本書都夠載

袋入面仲有筆，紙巾，香口膠，有時帶埋電腦charger，相機

電腦係必帶之物

用佢做功課facebook msn 搵工乜都靠佢

(當然仲有上悶lecture果陣防止訓著)

佢嘅最可愛之處係：唔會hang 機

無裝到office 之類嘅軟件，用google docs 都應付到

三個詞語:

1. 大

2. 方便

3. 我鍾意隻色

其他袋

救命...........

2010-02-14T00:54:00.003+08:00

虎年祝大家身體健康
健康真係好緊要

-touchwood-

病左個幾禮拜都好唔曬
喉嚨發炎食左兩隻anti-biotics, 食完，無再痛
啲菌應該死曬
但係唔知點解我好"燥"
脷痛，個喉嚨極乾, 啲一舊舊都仲喺度...但係唔痛

仲要隻藥食到個胃好差
食多油嘅野過一陣就嘔
就算食得清都會頂住

究竟我幾時先好番.............
聽日仲要去幫手接呀婆出院
然後幫手prep 開年飯
而家已經咁
過埋聽日會點
我friday 仲有兩份大野交 (係，我放假都有野交)

-touchwood-

得閒死唔得閒病

2010-02-10T21:30:00.002+08:00

病左成個星期都無起色

後日仲要交功課

完哂之後出兩篇post

Toy Story 3

2010-01-27T00:22:00.002+08:00

Toy Story 3 終於出

無得embed，有興趣請自行click

個人認為呢套嘅target age 係18-25 instead of 3-12

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v_FfHA5whXc

日食．日落

2010-01-16T09:57:00.006+08:00

難得一見日食同日落一齊:

日落，拎走filter

[兩週一聚]：三件事情

2010-01-14T12:35:00.005+08:00

題目：今日三件開心事，聽日三個期望

今日

一. 天氣很好

二. 似乎上學期某科成績唔錯，不過下星期先知

三. 有少少功課做! (咁我先唔會無所事事)

聽日

一. 睇日環食

二. 希望立法會否決高鐵撥嚾款

三. Weekend 來臨，行山去~

其他開心事:

http://2weeks1gather.wordpress.com/2010/01/12/１０年０１月１５日第三十期-三件事情/

中英夾雜諗到就寫：反高鐵 x 80 後的未來

2010-01-08T17:26:00.009+08:00

As a 80後, I did participate in most of the 7.1 protests and the June 4th Candlelight Vigils too. I see protesting as a sign of 表態. However I don't think we can change much because we do not have universal suffrage (普選) and for the June 4th Incident, it's the Communist government we are against, and there is no way this government will admit its fault, except if someday it becomes democratic. (Yes I'm quite pessimistic about this) So long the Legislative Council retains 功能組別, the rich get their say in the legislative council, and they have control of all the policies.

read this: http://hk.news.yahoo.com/article/100105/3/fz73.html

The building of 高鐵 requires $10000 from EVERY HK citizen on average, every single one of us. We already have a nice transportation network which is not very expensive. I personally love the MTR because it's fast, it never delays, and the price has been reduced after 兩鐵合拼. How would an average HK person pay (no more than, so the government said) $750 to take a relatively faster train? That's more than 10 times the price, only for the sake of its speed. There is no need to build such a train. Even if many people will take the train (which I think is not likely to happen), the government said HK will gain (gain? earn? save????????) $5 million a day(do you believe in that? I don't), it would take almost THIRTY THREE (yes, that's 33) years to cover the cost of BUILDING 高鐵. This number is the most ideal situation already...

Honestly I'm quiet tired of "rebutting" the government, they are simply making things up and speaking nonsense (bulls***). How the F*** would people who "六十六萬人每周至少往返內地一次" pay SO MUCH MONEY to buy a ticket EVERY SINGLE WEEK? Only people who prefer to take a plane and/or those who are in a hurry would take the train. This whole s*** is simply not making any sense, not logical at all. $750 x 4 = $3000 could already be the salary of a month for some people...

I saw on TV some workers protesting FOR building of 高鐵, their reason is they'll then have a job. From the experience of France in 1848 we can see their reason is not valid. After the fall of Louis Philippe (French King), a provisional government was set up and it created some National Workshops in Paris. The French government at that time was not rich, but it established this workshop to give jobs to poor people. The people did receive work and they were paid, but what they built was not needed, not useful and it used up too much money of the government. In the end the Workshops closed down. It is not reasonable to give jobs to workers for the sake of it. The government should invest on something BENEFICIAL, PRACTICAL, and with a reasonable, foreseeable prospect which does not take too much from HK's budget.

HK already has the highest 貧富懸殊 gap in the world, even higher than mainland China in India. It is not worth spending so much money on a railway which only the rich can afford it. It is not like 30 years ago when people can get a better living if they work hard. Many posts are either outsourced to mainland China or occupied by non-HK citizens. It is no longer a certain causal relation between hard work and quality life. What we need is a capitalist welfare state with measures to ensure people in poverty can climb up the social ladder.

===================================================================

I'm not participating in the 反高鐵 protests. I definitely agree with their aim, but not their means. I would love to participate if they take a more peaceful way of doing things. Last time on 1.1 even the organizers were losing control of the protesters and violence was near. In 2003 and 2004 we had half a million people on the street on 7.1, but there was no violence at all. It is a 招牌 of Hong Kong that we do things peacefully and we do get things done. Article 23 was not passed. I hope the protesters will understand that only through peaceful means with no one getting hurt or killed can they get the maximum support of the people. There are many in Hong Kong who long for economic prosperity before democracy, those who do not understand $ and political development need to go hand in hand. The protesters must understand that to get their support, or at least neutrality, we need peace.

I dare not read too many articles about 80後. It is like watching a horror movie that will come true someday. F.5 graduates only get about $5500 a month. Transportation fee has been climbing sharply in the past two years so a large part of their salary is used up already. They have no career prospect unless they study more. And as the government continues to import so-called "專材" to HK from mainland China, whom many are only holding a Bachelor Degree, even U grads in Hong Kong are going to face fierce competition.

The birth rate is going to fall continuously as a result. Since the 樓價 is so high, I think even U grads will not be able to earn enough money to buy a house, let alone people with lower academic qualification. As a 80後 I understand most of us want independence and there is no way people will get married without getting their own house. That means people will NOT get married until they save enough money, but saving enough money for a house is nearly impossible because they do not have much left after spending their salary on food and transportation. Imagine HK in 2040 when those born in 2010s are the last generation of young people. How heavy will their tax burden be, when most of the people in HK are retired and over 60?

[兩週一聚]：最大收穫

2009-12-31T13:29:00.010+08:00

十年的收穫：我未死

過去十年就是我人生的一半

看到題目想起的不是過去十年發生的

而是那地獄十年

自五歲多爸有外遇，更整天黑著口面對我們，天天單打天天罵

剛七歲，爸和那女人一起來接放學，不知怎的我竟直覺那是外遇

告訴媽，她不明，也不信

媽不知道出了什麼問題，心情不好

六歲開始有小事就打，七/八歲時我幾乎天天捱打

不太痛，但總會哭

也不明白只犯小小的錯誤，為什麼要打

直至八歲

有一天我逃走到洗手間，鎖門，爬上廁所水箱，從窗向下看

很高

我想："跌下去會痛的，那就不要跳下去吧"

那是我第一次想自殺

也是從那次起

我告訴自己要堅強，要獨立

我訓練自己不准在人前哭，不要怕痛

連生病都不會給他們知道，因為會被罵

從來都不會發脾氣，最多夜半偷偷地哭

九歲時爸的婚外情穿了出來，他卻完全沒有悔意

媽打我的次數大大減小，但天天發脾氣

我跟她說："我想你們離婚，爸沒有悔意，這個家無可挽救"

可是她怕煩

於是我繼續叫自己更堅強，更獨立

也鍊成了我那外表非常堅強天不怕地不怕，內裡卻非常脆弱的性格

脆弱得有任何不如意的事, 事無大小就想用死去逃避

完全沒有自信，對世界沒有期望

可是我捨不得我的朋友啊

過去十年的頭兩年不記得太多

大部份都是不快的事，也就忘了

最記得是和best frd 勾手指尾，不准自殺

但best frd 不知道我想自殺

升上中學，最初未適應，我變成行屍走肉

中二開始可說是苦盡甘來，遇到好同學，好老師，簡直是天堂

家中情況沒有好轉

but what the hell，好彩繼續有俾錢

中六，十八歲前夕，因成績差，自信低到極點，很無助，差點自殺, i was on the edge

有幸遇到一位the father i never had, 跟他說我想死，什麼也告訴他了

那50分鐘是我人生的轉捩點

然後放棄了那念頭，重拾正確的人生觀

過去三年可說是五歲以來最美好的日子

我沒有家庭觀念，我羨慕溫室長大的朋友

but this is what made me, this is what I am

there is nothing to change what is gone

仍然外表堅強內裡脆弱

夜深時那五歲失去正常生活的小孩仍渴望溫暖

但那二十歲的已學懂take control，也學懂珍惜，學懂堅持

行啲講句，"生命有希望，前路由我創" 嘛

十年，小學中學大學

選了歷史的路

十年

廿三條七一遊行六四晚會講黎講去都未有普選

911 Afghanistan Iraq London Tsunami

希望下個十年地球無咁多災難

希望畢業份工夠錢俾我搬走

其他人的收穫：

http://2weeks1gather.wordpress.com/2009/12/27/最大收獲/

兩週一聚：人間．神話

2009-12-15T08:35:00.006+08:00

Part 1 - HK

剛從politics 學到每個地方都需要如神話等共同點凝聚一個民族

想起香港的神話其實不多

獅子山下香港人奮鬥進步不太算是神話

那是天時地利人和加上很現實的努力的成果

這個由漁村變國際都會的故事確有凝聚力

但它始終不是神話 (可能我們跟本不需要共同的神話)

天后, 黃大仙，車公都可算是神話，在香港有很多信眾

但它們不是土產，不能用作維繫香港人的根源

(我這一代更沒有人相信這些故事)

究竟有冇香港獨有嘅神話?

Part 2 - Lord of the Rings

神話的可愛之處，是予人無限的幻想空間

自F.2迷上Tolkien 的Lord of the Rings

更慶幸有比我對LOTR更著迷的朋友

悶了便走進middle earth 消磨時間

把神話化成生活一部份是很有趣的事

最喜歡LOTR - Fellowship of the Ring movie 裡

Gandalf 說的 "All you have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to you." 很有用

經常和朋友把這句掛在嘴邊

提醒自己要善用時間

What I like most about the story is the diversity

There are so many characters and different species of life

All living in harmony except for a few

Evil is always defeated in the end, unlike the real world

It also doesn't make me feel bad when I watch the movie and see the orcs killed

because they are bred, not born in the movie. (Although in Silmarillion they are supposed to be a mutated form of elves)

They look horrible only because they have a bad heart (as the saying goes, 相由心生)

There is absolutely no guilt in wishing the orcs' death because they have no families and friends.

睇多啲:

http://2weeks1gather.wordpress.com/2009/12/14/09年12月15日第廿八期-人間．神話/

高科技就一定好?

2009-12-04T13:06:00.002+08:00

最近做功課對得電腦多，開始覺得real world係假...

出街見到d樓覺得好立體

見到個人好懷疑點解佢同website將黑白相唔同樣，咁colourful...

...

我地有msn facebk skype 同去左外國嘅朋友 keep in touch

不過唔知幾耐無見過真人

我地有facebook share 相 post status 打notes

不過驚post完上去唔知有咩consequence所以唔post

我地有ipod MP3 插住耳筒行到邊聽到邊

不過仲記唔記得咩叫寧靜, 又幾耐無聽過live music

我地有SMS 訓緊教上緊堂過緊馬路都可以傾偈

不過幾耐未試過有completely私人嘅時間, 專心喺一件事

我地有電腦打字又可以改又打得快

不過點及得上筆跡透出嘅emotion同思路

友誼永固？

2009-12-01T07:59:00.000+08:00

幼稚園小學中學識人同人熟很容易

大學友情開始變質

出現大量酒肉朋友, hi-bye朋友，利益朋友, 假朋友

好多人都應該試過:

你可能唔想去玩，不過你驚佢覺得你唔領情以後唔嗌你，你不得不逼自己

你可能好憎佢，不過佢想同你講野，你不得不扮住笑講

你可能唔想做一樣野，不過你要靠佢，你不得不扮樂意去做

你可能同佢曾經好熟，不過佢變左另一個人，你不得不扮同佢繼續熟，因為你唔想hurt佢

要珍惜每一個可以對佢地真誠既人

還要學懂let go

當朋友屢勸不改去醉酒去o拍丸去援交而你又無能為力的時候

...就只有放手

當然世上還有生死與共互相扶持的兄弟、戰友

還要給自己畫一條底線，假裝得太多很難找回真正的自己

第一次打blog

2009-11-30T06:46:00.000+08:00

平時看blog看得多，今次終於自己落手打

自問英文會錯grammar，中文語體文廣東話夾雜

所以大家睇得辛苦啲啦

上facebook太多發覺什麼也不便post

開個匿名blog方便得多

對世界沒有安全感

對著朋友通常都不會把想法和感覺說出來

就借blog亂說一通吧

匿名blog，抒發平時不想說，不敢說的

Every morning I listen to...

一啖沙糖...

mealtime blogging: 司徒華之死

2010

教訓

我的天敵

Management 101

NK vs SK

Political correctness

Father figures

Mphil

懶搵工

Any means, for the same end

Injured...again

吊頸唞氣

What the hell is happening to me?

Is this a nightmare, can I just wake up from this?

Aftermath

Shit happens, or maybe not.

my IELTS just got screwed up

劍道 Kendo

Dark forces taking over the universe?

Quick update

請大家小心身體

K歌之王改篇 --- Thesis 之王

轉載自facebook: 好朋友

兩週一聚第四十六期: 我喜愛的老師

錯別字有時可以好好笑

我懷疑我有一個同父異母嘅妹

Life lesson no. n, where n is any integer

人去樓空

無題

陣腳大亂

C vs H

請大家明天穿黑衣

兩週一聚第四十四期: 我的好朋友

新blog

今天天氣很好

開多個blog

兩週一聚第四十三期題目: 「色彩聯想」

兩週一聚第四十二期題目: 塞翁失馬

兩週一聚第四十二期題目: 塞翁失馬

兩週一聚第四十一期: 夢想之旅

暑假!!!!!!!!!

轉載: 練乙錚：事功殆因團結誤 道術敢為天下裂

lost

今日街頭 jam @ 北京道行人隧道!

=D

兩週一聚第三十九期: 窗外

Myth

Salute!

迪士尼的感慨

胃

毒

七百年後

咦原來佢地知架?!

內地媒體指上海仍欠缺一流城市文化

5.16

如果各位仍未收到五一六投票通知書，請在辦公時間致電28911001向選舉事務處查詢！投票權利得來不易，不要因為當局的冷處理忘記五一六公投日！

執房

戰

自殺 x subconscious

兒童不宜：我無專心聽書，我畫得唔靚

兩週一聚三十六期: C'est La Vie

facebook 得10個人睇到嘅note 就咁copy 過黎

A-

兩週一聚第三十四期: 天問

強拍

無奈

龍脊遊

兩週一聚三十三期: 完美的一餐(食物/人物)

二月專題 : 圖文並茂【袋袋平安】

救命...........

得閒死唔得閒病

Toy Story 3

日食．日落

[兩週一聚]：三件事情

中英夾雜諗到就寫：反高鐵 x 80 後的未來

[兩週一聚]：最大收穫

轉載: 練乙錚：事功殆因團結誤道術敢為天下裂